Donna’s Blog

Always Music

She was barely walking, but she loved to toddle over to the piano and try to press the keys.  My favorite pictures of her is when she is on tiptoe and has both hands reaching as high as she can to play some notes.  Of course I would pick her up and sit her on the bench next to me and let her play and be amazed at how much she seemed to love it.  She didn’t bang on the piano like a lot of kids do, she would run her fingers along the notes and pick out her favorite ones.  It didn’t take rocket science to know that one day, she would be taking piano lessons.  I think music was just born into Karlee.

So yesterday, it’s the typical Sunday morning.  Everyone is getting dressed, muffins are in the oven baking (my favorite Sunday morning breakfast) and I decide I have a few minutes to go over to the piano and play my latest favorite song.  Before long, my little girl, who isn’t so little anymore, comes around the corner.  I know what she’s wanting.  She’s wanting her turn at the piano.  She is so much like me sometimes, that it is scary!  She comes over next to me and finishes singing what I’m playing.  I go ahead and move out of the way and let her have her turn.  And I absolutely love to hear her play.  She plays with so much feeling and expression.  God has given her a gift and I can’t wait to see what happens.

I also realize what a blessing I have and how awesome God is.  Before Ben and I had children, I could only dream that IF we were blessed with children, we would be blessed with at least one that liked music a little.  Now we have two girls and they BOTH love music.  We always have music somewhere.  Music in their rooms, music in the bathroom, music while we clean the house, music when we travel.  And one of the coolest things to me is that I think Karlee is the only other person I know (besides me) who can be in a Wal-mart (or Target, or any store in the mall) and actually pay attention to what song is playing on their music system!  I’m telling you…it is always about music!

I can’t leave Paige out of this story, because Paige plays guitar, sings and has started taking piano lessons as of two weeks ago.  Paige sang with a “girls quartet” at church last night and what I love about Paige is that they not only sang great, but she had called all the girls so that their outfits coordinated as well! 

Since Paige has changed instruments, now Karlee is talking about wanting to learn to play the bass.  Guess I’ll start shopping! 

Behind the Song - At His Feet

Most of the times, writing is therapy for me.  It is my own private session of working out the questions, opening up the pain and as was the case in “At His Feet”….a time of surrender. 

I had gone to the church to work on some music for Sunday morning.  I had a stack of music beside me, trying to decide what I wanted to play first.  But I just sat and looked at it; I had come into the sanctuary with a burden and it seemed right to just sit there for a while at the piano and talk to God.  That may be my favorite place to do that.  The sanctuary is quiet….the altars bare…..but always the presence of God seems to be so…..real.  My hands usually wonder to the piano keys where I may play a familiar chorus as I pray.  But this particular night, I started praying a prayer of surrender to the Lord and as I prayed it, I sang it.  As I write this, I’m trying to think of how I can explain it to you so that it makes sense.  But I’m not sure I can.  All I know is that I began to pray “at Your feet I humbly bow, at Your feet I lay it down….” and all of the sudden, I was definately in the presence of the Lord.

Let me worn you now that I am someone who cries easily and freely.  In fact, when the spirit moves me to tears, it is such a release.  I find I can let go through the tears.  There have been times when I’ve been in a church service and sensed the presence of the Lord and been about moved to tears and for whatever reason, would decide that I shouldn’t cry…so I hold it in.  I tell myself I’m silly for being moved to tears.  Others around me aren’t crying…what is the deal.  And I can also tell you that every time I’ve done that…I know that I’ve lost out on a blessing.  Because that is how God washes over me and washes me clean and I’ve learned it is best to surrender to those moments. 

So in those moments at the piano, I surrendered the problem I had been holding on to.  I grab some paper nearby and jot down thoughts, even as I am praying.  I love writing through the struggle.  I know in those “real” moments, that is when I seem to write best.  I don’t want to write what I think people need to hear.  I want to write from what I know and from where I have walked.  Because even in those moments when I feel so alone…and like no one could possibly understand what I’ve just been through….in my heart, I also know that we are all on this journey together.  And, that possibly, if I am facing it….so are you.  And the greatest blessing of this Christian journey is to be able to put our arms of understanding and compassion around each other and know that because God brought me through, He can bring you through as well.

At Your Feet

The song was written when I was three years old.  I can’t help but wonder what inspired Dottie Rambo to write it.  Our ladies director asked me on Sunday if I would sing it for the ladies at our Wednesday night ladies meeting.  She felt directed to speak on “remembering the miracles.”  She had heard Joel Osteen preach about that same subject on the television Sunday before she came to church.  She thought it was a great idea and wanted to share it with the ladies.  I told her I thought I had the song somewhere and I would find it.  So in true procrastinating style, I started looking for the song about 30 minutes before I needed to be at church!  I dug out the old basket we keep in a closet that is full of old songbooks.  I guess I shouldn’t call them “old.”  I was singing out of these song books just yesterday!  There are three big books full of great songs.  I can’t remember the name of the books becuase the covers have long been torn off.  They are spiral bound songbooks and the covers weren’t all that durable.  So they disappeared, along with the table of contents page.  So I just had to start flipping through the pages to see what I could find.

I found some really cool songs I remember that I loved to sing:  Little Flowers, Come Into the Ark, Would You Believe in Me, Whatever It Takes, The Last Mile of the Way, God’s Family, Jesus is Still the Answer, and We’re Not Strangers Anymore.  I had to resist the urge to run to the piano and just start playing and singing the songs.  I didn’t have time….I had to find the song.  I picked up the second book and then the third and finally found it…..

“Roll back the curtains of memory now and then, show me where you brought me from and where I could have been.  Remember I’m human, and humans forget, so remind me, remind dear, Lord.”

What a great song.  We talked about it last night.  We talked about how we so easily focus on the stuff like….not getting our way……when things don’t work out like we planned…..when life is really hard.  We talked about how easy it is to forget……the car crash that we avoided by some miracle……the day I got the job that was just what I needed……the time I was praying and all of the sudden, found just what I was looking for in the house…..and a thousand other miracles that happen to us every day.  I guess that’s why God established some times of rememberences for the Israelites.  He knew how prone we were to forget all that He has done for us.  He also knew that if we would remember, it would make it easier to hold on when the hard times come.

“Nothing good have I done to deserve God’s own Son; I’m not worthy of the stars in His hands.  Yet He chose the road to Calvary to die in my stead; why He loved me, I can’t understand.  Roll back the curtain of memory now and then.  Show me where You’ve brought me from and where I could have been.  Remember I’m human and humans forget.  So remind me, remind me dear, Lord.”

“Duh, dum, write”

I live life passionately.  For me, it’s the only way.  I wake up every morning groggy, looking for my slippers and how to get to the bathroom without stumbling over something along the way.  But at some point every morning, usually while the makeup is being applied, I start thinking about the day and what will happen.  I’m a firm believer that every day has its purpose…..that God drew up the day on his big architect board and knows just what the plans are.  I get excited about that.  I pray for my girls and husband that they will experience the day to the fullest and live out God’s plan.  And now that Karlee will be going to high school….well, I’ll be praying even more fervently that she can live out His plan in the midst of a difficult surroundings to say the least.  When school starts, I’ll have to share all about that.

I believe God is passionate in what He wants to accomplish.  I believe He plants the dreams, desires and passions in me.  That is the only way I can explain this passion that I have for writing.  Some days it feels like I eat, sleep and breath writing….like that is a part of my brain that never turns off.  I may be at work, I may be cooking dinner, I may be out at the pool, but I am always in the writing mode.  It’s like part of my heart beat….duh dum, duh, dum, write…..duh dum, duh dum, write,….duh dum, duh dum, write….you get the picture!  It is an amazing thing when you are living out the passion you feel that God has given you.  After all, Jesus said He came to give us life, and a life More Abundant.  I think that is what passion is about.  I’m not just living life…this is life MORE abundant.  It’s the only way I want to live.

The Chase

It really does feel like it is chasing me…..a new song idea.  I never know when a sermon, a devotion I’m reading, or a dozen other things happen in my day can be the “thing” that starts a new song idea.  The way it happens for me is that I usually hear a phrase in my head along with a melody.  (I realize that may sound a little scary to reveal what I’m hearing in my head!!)  If I find myself singing the line over and (if I’m somewhere I can sing out loud….I just belt it out!) and try to see where it takes me.  It can sometimes develop into something “singable” rather quickly, or be difficult to develop…and then the chase begins.  

In fact, I’m on a chase right now.  I was thinking about something the other day, I heard this great “hook” in my head and I feel like it is the beginnings of a really good song.  But there are several different directions I can take the song, and I’m not sure which way I want to go.  I’m trying several different routes to see which one takes me to the place I want to end up.  The chase can be frustrating, but at the time same, this is what a writer loves…..to be on the hunt for the perfect word, the perfect thought…..you just know it is going to be around the corner somewhere, you just have to hunt long enough for it.

This is really where I am still a novice.  Learning to develop ideas and re-write songs until they are exactly what they need to be.  The temptation is to write the song down, pat myself on the back and say, WOW, look what I did in 30 minutes!  The hard part is looking at the song and asking myself if that is the best it cn be.  Is there a better way I can say it?  This is also the hard part about writing by yourself.  I guess that is why so many people in Nashville co-write.  Two eyes, ears and hearts are better than one!  But it is a beautiful thing, when I’m at the piano and I’ve just spilled my heart out on paper….and I know it is exactly what I wanted to say.  It is always a personally vulnerable moment and I usually end up crying somewhere during the process (unless it is just a light hearted, fun song…I’ve got to write more of those!).

I think I’m getting closer though.  Today I was on my way early this morning to get some goodies from Atlanta Bread Company; we have bank auditors in town and we are trying to keep them happy.  Anyway, I drove with the radio off because I’m still chasing that song.  I sang this great verse and had to call my phone at work just to record it.  I’ll play it in a little bit and see if I still like it.  I really love this chase! 

The Groove

A song just needs a groove….but it has to have the right one.  I wish you could have been in the studio to hear all the cool “grooves” that the players created!  I’m listening to one of my favorites right now.  It happened on a song called “The Hand of God.”  The players had looked over the chart, talked about it and I went to my spot, sat on my little stool, put my headphones and listened.  I don’t know who started it first…whether it was John on the drums, or Jason on the keyboard….but I heard the coolest groove start happening!  I wish I could explain the sound to you so that you could hear it in your head right now….but you’ll just have to wait.  It’s just amazing to me how the music lay in just the right spots to create just the right effect with the words….and take the emotion of the song and build on it.  I really can’t wait for you to hear it.

Another favorite groove I have is on the title track, “The Invitation”.  Craig Nelson played this amazing upright bass.  It was so beautiful, I asked if I could take his picture while he played it.  You can see that picture of him playing it on my photos page.  Craig told me he had purchased it from an older gentleman (in his 80’s) who was retiring from playing in the symphony.  It had been made in the 1800’s!  Craig had recently had it restored and he said he could play bass notes like you wouldn’t believe.  It was incredible!  I listen to that song over and over and can’t get enough of the sounds that I’m hearing!  

What’s also cool is that the players aren’t finished.  “Files” will be sent to them so that they can add some additional instrumentation to some of the songs.  Is that cool, or what?  They are still creating some great “grooves” for the songs that I haven’t even heard yet.  So now we both have something to look forward too!! 

The Downpour

I just love a good rain.  I mean the kind of rain that comes as a downpour.  I was at the church tonight, preparing some music for Sunday.  I had seen the clouds as I drove over to the church.  But you never know when they will just blow over or develop into a major storm.  I was playing the piano when I heard it start.  And it didn’t start with just a few drops; it just fell from the sky, like someone reached up and unzipped a cloud full of rain.  Whenever I hear that kind of rain, I have to go to the window and watch it.  There is something about seeing it hit the cars, the pavement, the grass and watching it wash the grime away.  It’s almost like you did’t realize the grime was there, until the rain washes it off and leaves a new layer of clean.

I love a good downpour of the Holy Spirit over my soul as well.  I love how the Holy Spirit just comes…sometimes when you least expect it….and washes over you.  How He washed over me last Saturday.  We had finished recording my vocals at Daywind Studios.  I helped the engineer pack everything up.  He handed me a “rough” copy of my CD, locked the doors and left.  I got in my car and put the CD in and decided to just sit for a few minutes and listen.  Those few minutes turned into an hour.  I was listening to the CD and was overwhelmed by the goodness of God….how He had led me to this place….and everything He was teaching me.  I listened to the songs I’d written and remembered the struggles that had inspired them….and the faithfulness of a God who brought me through…..IS bringing me through.  That’s when the downpour hit and I just let it wash over me.  I knew I needed it.

The Vocals

Going into the studio to “do vocals” is intimidating to say the least.  It was Friday evening and I had just spent a day and a half watching and listening to the players create the most amazing music.  My producer wanted to know if I was ready to start recording my part.  Now the pressure was on me!  Since I’m a solo artist, there isn’t anyone else to blame when I goof up…..you can hear it in the mic, loud and clear!  So here’s the scene….the producer and engineer are back in their spots in the control room, I’m on the other side of a sound proof glass window standing in front of a stand with my music and a microphone.  The engineer adjusts the mic to my new height.  (I had been singing the scratch vocals earlier that day with these really cute, but very high shoes.  I decided it was time to get comfortable and slip them off, which caused me to lose about three inches!) 

We had recorded a couple of songs and things were going o.k.  Then it was time to start working on a ballad I wrote called “Somebody’s Praying for Me”.  I felt like I was singing it with “heart”, but that wasn’t what they were hearing on the other side of the window.  So the producer comes into the room with me for a….well….for lack of a better word…..pep talk.  First let me say, it means everything to have a producer who really listens, and knows when you need to give a song a little bit more.  Cause when this CD comes out and you guys hear it, I want you to feel the passion I felt as I wrote it.  So, anyway, my producer asks me if I’m tired (yes).  He asks me about the “somebody” in the song…..who is it that is praying for me.  I think about my mom, my sister, my husband, my friends…..yeah, it overwhelms me!  He tells me I need to “picture” those people as I sing.  It will make a difference.  He tells me to “take a minute” and we’ll get started again.  I go over to the grand piano that Jason had played so beautifully that day and start playing and singing the song…just as I remember writing it.  Of course, I start bawling because I’m so blessed to have people in my life who pray for me.  Then I wonder if I can even sing the song now that my nose is all stuffed up!  But we try it again.  My producer has another great idea (he really is good), he suggests we dim the lights in the studio.  I know the words by heart, so I don’t need to look at the lyrics on the stand.  So the lights go down, the music starts, I close my eyes and start to sing.  This time it sounds different….it FEELS different.  The passion is back and I pray that I make it through without crying.

My hope, is that when you hear this song, you’ll be moved to places I was when I wrote it.  And that you’ll know beyond a doubt, that at just the time you need it, somebody is praying.

Blessings

The Players

It is the most amazing thing to be around incredible Nashville players. (I learned they are called “players” and not muscians, on my first trip to Nashville.) Because of the great producer I have, he was able to line up what he calls the “A+ Players”….these are the guys that play on all the top albums in Nashville.  I remember my producer trying to prepare me for that two years ago when I first recorded.  He kept saying, “trust me Donna, these guys are great”.  He wasn’t kidding.

So here is what happens when you are in the studio with these players.  You gather in the main recording room….this is the room where the producer produces and the engineer works with that huge board thingee.  Each player is given a chart of your song.  This is the “layout” of your song that shows the measures, beats and chords.  The chords are not written as “G” or “C”, but they use a number system.  Anyway, the technician plays song #1 for the players to listen to.  This is a rough cut that I’ve recorded….you know, just me sitting at the piano singing into the mike.  Yeah, it is totally embarrassing to have them all listening.  But, their job is not to critque my song; their job is to come up with the best music possible that fits the song.  So, as they listen, they start making notes and discussing the song and how they would like to treat it.  They “listen” for about 30 seconds before they start talking.  Can you believe that?  They don’t even have to really hear the whole 4 minute song before they are “in the groove” and ready to play it.  As songwriter, I may have a little input.  Like, I might tell them that I meant for the tempo to be faster or slower, or that I’d like to have a more “acoustic guitar feel” to a song…but for the most part (and trust me on this), you sit back and let them create some great music!!

Everyone heads to their different instrument; I head to a booth and put my headphones on.  I can’t see anyone, so I have to listen in my headphones as they start “warming up”.  Pretty soon, the makings of great music starts happening and they ask me if I like it.  Do I like it?  Oh my STARS, it is amazing!  Pretty soon you hear “red light” in the headphones and that means it is time to record.  I sing along with the song just for the muscians to hear, but I’m not recorded at that time.  It is called a “scratch vocal.”  I mainly try to sing and not screw up.  The players take it from there.  I know I use “amazing” a lot, but I can’t quite explain it any other way.  They are just good at what they do.  And you know the most “amazing” thing?  They are nice guys.  Not snobby, not snooty, not uppity, not jerks……just some really wonderful guys that you wish you could hang out with for days.  That’s like the frosting on the cake of CD making!!!

Blessings!

Starting

The start of a new CD is always an amazing experience.  I’m not sure when the idea really began; probably around the time I started writing new songs after recording the first CD!!  But at some point, I have a set of songs in my notebook and I began calling them “songs for the new CD”!  The next big hurdle is to talk to my producer (who is incredibly busy) and see if there is any opening in his schedule to work on another CD.  When he told me he was ready and waiting on me…..it was time to talk about setting the date.  Summer of 2006 sounded good.  And of course, another big motivator is the fact that we are about to kick off “Hey Sister! A ministry for all Sisters in Christ”.  (I’ll be sharing more on that later).  The trip to Nashville is planned, the studio is booked and players are hired.  It is quite an exciting adventure!

I’m so thankful to have supportive family and friends who believe in this project.  The title of the CD will be “The Invitation”.    I can’t wait to share it with all of you.  Check back later as I share details of the fun days in the studio!

Blessings!